Secondary 2 students had a Charity Bazaar on 2nd August 2010 to help raise funds for the Children Cancer Foundation. The profits will be donated to help children with cancer.
In the afternoon after assembly, every Secondary class started to set up and decorate their booths. When everything was set up, all the students in the school started coming down from the classroom to the parade square, where the Charity Bazaar was held there.
"This Sec 2 Charity Bazaar was very innovative and they had much more creative ideas about the things they sold and the games they invented," said Shermaine Yim from 1E3.
The Charity Bazaar had different kinds of booths. They had booths for games, drinks, food, accessories, and song dedications. Many students were shoving to get their way through the crowd to a specific booth for the fun and interesting things that they sell. To attract attention from the crowd, 2E4 had a creative idea where they were giving out free hugs. 2E3 had chosen to do an arm wrestling game where it is only 50 cents per game and you could get a handmade bookmark if you won. It indeed attracted more students to come.
This Charity Bazaar had raised quite a large amount of money for the Children Cancer Foundation.
"I feel that this Charity Bazaar was a success. I hope there will be more of it in the upcoming years," commented Cedric Cheok from 1E4.
I like the way you divide the article up into short and simple paragraphs. You also describe where the proceeds of the bazaar goes to, which is very informative(:
ReplyDeleteWell done, Eunice. A generally coherent and well-organised essay, with distinct paragraphs that are clear in what they want to say.
ReplyDeleteThe only problem is that you repeated points: "Secondary 2 students had a Charity Bazaar on 2nd August 2010 to help raise funds for the Children Cancer Foundation. The profits will be donated to help children with cancer."
Also, you could gather information on how much was raised through the whole event. Ask Mr Neu Wee Teck about it?
Lastly, change a little of the language to make the article sound more enticing to read! I love your title, for example. It makes the article sound really interesting.
- Miss J. Tan
Hello Eunice,I think that you're very detailed in your post. I like how you describe the events that happened. It gives the readers a clear description of the whole event.
ReplyDeleteHey :) This post is really detailed. You also mentioned and elaborated on the purpose of the Charity Bazaar. (Y)
ReplyDelete-MiraahKimKey-